Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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