Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
