She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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