Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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