tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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