how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She's the barista slut.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
