respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
