i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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