Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
