were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
