i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
