hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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