True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
