Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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