what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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