Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
