I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
