Come see our sink grown plant.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
