sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize