I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
PS: I just woke up from my shower
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
