if only i could text you this smell
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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