its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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