adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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