Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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