Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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