I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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