So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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