i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
