yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
