I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We don't watch enough power rangers
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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