so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
