So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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