i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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