I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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