are you still at the devil's house?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
