i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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