yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
