I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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