I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize