every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
