shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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