bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
