sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
