The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's official drugs can't kill me
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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