Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
