Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
