she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
