and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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