my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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