1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
