He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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