She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
