3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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