Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize