I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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